Following Through.

One of the reasons I love my job is that I find it difficult to stay focused on one particular thing for any length of time. The nature of game design is that you're always jumping from task to wholly differentiated task within an ever-changing and dynamic environment, which suits me just fine.

One other area of my life where my unfocused tendencies become more of a liability is game-playing. Countless are the number of quarter- to half-played games that have graced the drive of my PC. The fact that I now get paid to make games exacerbates this problem in a few ways: 1) I now have money with which to buy lots of games, 2) Playing a wide variety of games can legitimately be considered research and 3) Game Development requires some long hours. If you don't live with your significant other, chances are you won't get home til 11 or so. At least if you work for my company. So time is necessarily limited. These factors and the ubiquitous and evil advertising conspiracy to promote purchasing have combined forces in order to compel me to keep buying all sorts of games. Mind you, it is not on the level of my co-worker Jason Bare's problem-consumerism, but it is significant nonetheless and will only worsen as the cash influx increases.

Having said that! Because of the aforementioned steady flow of new games, I find it hard to sit down and play a game all the way through to completion. This is sad, because I really feel like I'm missing something when I don't complete a good game. Well, I am for certain missing the remainder of the game, at least. But, you know, artwork as a whole and all that.

Happily, there are two things that I've found allow me to kick this halfass habit.

1) Shorter goddamn games. One of the things I've noticed about games lately is that they're all so dad-blamed long. Note to developers: this kinda sucks because I want to be able to experience your game as a whole work. This is especially true for story-based games... what is the point of doing all that storywork just to make the game so long that 5% of the people ever get to see how everything comes together in the end?

Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne is a great example of a shorter game that was actually significantly better because I played it all the way through. And not because I got to experience more of the same for a longer period of time, but because it was a complete experience which couldn't have been had with a few levels of play. Maybe it's because the narrative had underlying themes and patterns that wrapped up pretty nicely. Then again, maybe it's some kind of "completion bonus".

It'd be especially cool if developers were to make the main storyline of the game shorter, but include extended play options ( ie. alternate play modes a la Max Payne 2, free roaming/free play a la GTA: Vice City, or mod-friendliness that would encourage user-generated content ). This is already starting to happen, and it's an encouraging trend.

2) Portability. Like I said before, I ain't home much. However, I realized that I do spend a significant amount of time waiting for other people, waiting for stuff to compile at work, etc etc. Not very efficient. Enter Gameboy Advance SP. With its nearly unlimited battery pack and backlit screen, I am able to play practically anywhere. Thus, I have recently completed Advance Wars 2 and have just started on The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. I can't wait to see what the PSP has to offer, as long as it's not $10,000, as rumors would have me believe.

So yay for shorter games and hooray for portability.

Om.

So, I've been researching Buddhism lately, and I've been having some problems reconciling a few of the concepts. First, some schools of Buddhist thought teach that nothing is real and that developing a sense of attachment to the illusory or transitory will inevitably lead to loss and, therefore, suffering. Second, Buddhism, especially Mahayana Buddhism, stresses the importance of compassion.

Having learned this, I wondered how it was possible to have compassion for something which you knew was only temporary and that you could not invest yourself in. The following questions arise: Is it possible to love something you know is not real? Is it foolish to cherish what you will eventually suffer the loss of?

Some schools of Buddhist thought seem to equate detachment and enlightenment, but I find it hard to understand how one can be compassionate if they are transcendent. If Nirvana is bliss in the form of freedom from worldly cares (which are equated to suffering), how is one who strives for Nirvana capable of compassion, that existential quality which needs must require a connection to the human experience.

I can understand the concept of loving something because of its existence, transitory or not. I can understand the beauty that exists even in the cessation of existence. I can understand the concept that things are not beautiful because I observe them to be as such, but simply because they exist. I cannot, however, seem to reconcile the seemingly opposed concepts of detachment and compassion.

Unfortunately, the Buddha says that the truth lies within ourselves, inner light and all that. Perhaps upon figuring it out, my inner light will burst forth and I'll disappear. I hope it happens at work so it freaks everyone out, but it'll probably happen in the shower. Damn it.

It looks like someone is catching on.

Remember! My opinions are not necessarily the opinions of Activision. Even though I work for them and stuff, ok? OK??!?!?!?!?

So, imagine that you're going to see hm... ok imagine you're a kid and you just got this great videogame, let's call it Phoney Crock 3. Anyway, it's a really, really great time, so you tell your parents how great it is, hoping that they'll get you one for Christmas. They take a look at the package and, when Christmas-time comes, they head on down to the ol' Wal-Mart to see if there are any games they can buy you. Here is what ensues...:

- they enter the store and make their way to the games section after asking four employees how to get there. Not because they are bad with directions, but because the employees are small, bitter people who are maliciously misdirecting them.

- they finally find the games section and are assaulted by a barrage of different titles, each sporting a colorful and striking box graphic that differentiates it from the others.

- they have a discussion about what game to get you:

Pa: " Mabel, I don't know what the hell..."
Ma: "He said he liked that Baloney Frock game, didn't he?"
Pa: "You mean Phoney Crock."
Ma: " Oh... I don't know... I guess so..."
Pa: "Well, here's one right here. Phoney Crock 4."
Ma: "Oh, he's got that one already, right?"
Pa: "Yup, the one with the skate-boarder on the front. He showed it to me. He said he wants the new one when it comes out."
Ma: "You sure this isn't it? I thought the color was different."
Pa: "Woman, don't test me. I already told you, this is the same one. The letters and the skate-boarder and the whole nine yards. Phoney Crock."
Ma: "Alright, alright. Oh, look, here's a paintball one, he loves paintball!"
Pa: "And it's... fifteen dollars."
Ma: "Ok, let's get him this one."

- they end up buying you Extreme Paintbrawl 2.

Let me say right now that this article was inspired by reading some recent game sales figures. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4 sold HALF as many copies as Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 ( 2.1mm to 4.2mm ), even though the former is reputed to be a superior game. Of course, this is due to myriad reasons, but one certainly has to be the fact that the package for THPS 4 looked almost exactly like THPS 3. At least enough so that I can't, in my memory, distinguish them. In fact, unless I logically derive the timeline, I'm actually unsure of whether I own THPS 3 or THPS 4, I shit you not. I think it's 3.

I can understand what the marketing people were trying to do here. They were trying to build a recognizable visual brand. The problem is that when you do this with a linear series, it gets tricky, because if they look too much alike, people won't be able to distinguish, and then they won't buy. EA can get away with this with their sports games because they are chronologically delineated (ie 2003, 2004, etc), and chances are, if you're buying it, you're buying it in the titular year or slightly beforehand.

However! It looks like Activision may have learned their lesson: Tony Hawk's Underground, due in stores shortly, sports a radically different boxcover design. Hopefully, this, along with the departure from the numbered suffixes, will help to differentiate it from previous titles in the eyes of the uninitiated. I predict that THUG's improved marketing strategy, together with its innovative gameplay concepts, will help it sell like hotcakes.

Claustrophobia.

Dp,ryo,rd. Oy grr;d ;olr yjr pnkrvyd pm ,u frdl str v;pdomh om pm ,r/ Oy jsd pvvittrf yp ,r yp epmfrt og yjod od dp,r ,o;f gpt, pg v;sidytr[jpnos. pt kidy dp,r pyjrt lomf pg mrtbpid [stsmpos/ O gomf yjsy oy'd lomf pg do,o;st yp yjr smcoryu O grr; ejrm O', ytuomh yp esyvj s bofrp gi;;dvtrrm pm ,u vp,[iyrt smf yjr vitdpt od pm yjr dvtrrm/ Yjod ftobrd ,r sndp;iyr;u vtsxu smf O', mpy rcsvy;u ditr eju/

Pj. om vsdr upi fofm'y mpyovr. O'br frvofrf yp etoyr yjod errl'd ,rddshr om vpfr/ Yjr pm;u yjomh yjsy'd dysurf yjr ds,r str yjr s[pdytp[jrd. niy upi [tpnsn;u s;trsfu hirddrf yjsy og upi str trsfomh yjod/ Nu yjr esdu. vpmhtsyi;syopmd. upi str [tryyu d,sty. pt. sy ;rsdy. [rtdodyrmy/

Og upi jsbrm'y drrm Lo;; No;;. O epi;f johj;u dihhrdy upi tim piy smf drr oy tohjy mpe/ Oy jsd s vpi[;r pg g;sed. niy oy od pmr pg yjr ,ptr ntiys;;u bop;rmy ,pbord O'br rbrt drrm/ Brtu. brtu er;; fpmr/// jsyd pgg yp ,odyrt Ystsmyomp/

Build's done, back to work!

I'm going riding on a freeway. Of love.

I wonder exactly how long I'm going to have to live in Los Angeles before I freaking understand exactly how to get from given point A to given point B. Right now, I can get just about anywhere from my home to point B, but when I'm supposed to get from point B to point C, then I'm probably at about a 50% success rate.

It's probably a lot to do with the way the freeways are set up here... I never know which one will be able to lead into the other. The vast majority of the time, you can go from heading one way on a given freeway to heading either way on the other at the junction of the two. However, there are certain junctions where you can only go one way. At least I think so. Most of the time, I just somehow end up in freakin Burbank. It's like Burbank is a magnet for freeway directional retardation. Maybe the founder of NBC was trying to set up shop in Pomona, but he was heading north on the freakin 110, so of course he could not get onto the 101 south ( only north, unless you take the 10 east! [ at least I think ] ). So all of a sudden he finds himself in beautiful downtown Burbank and just says, "You know what? Fuck it, Steve. At least there's an IKEA and a Chevy's here, let's get some margaritas and kick back on our new Poang, ja?"

Another problem is that the streets do not run north-south/east-west, I don't care what anyone says. "Oh, you just go east from here." Bullshit. You mean, like, northeast, dude.

My favorite time was when we were heading over to Susana's friend's boyfriend's house, which just happened to be in Compton. Next to a crackhouse, I shit you not. So, we're heading over to Compton and she's doing the Susana thing of just kinda drivin along like she knows where she's going. Except, of course, in reality, she doesn't have a clue where she's going. So I'm seeing signs like Rosecrans and Greenleaf. Greenleaf, as in:

Bodies bein' found on Greenleaf
With their fuckin' heads cut off
Motherfucka, I'm Dre.

So, I say, "Susy, you know where we're headin, right?"

"Nope." [smiles]

By the way, this is at like ten o' clock at night on a Friday, so I'm gettin all kinds of strange looks. So she has the great idea that we're gonna pull up to a corner liquor store so I can run in and ask directions from one of the guys hangin out on the corner and enjoying a nice tasty beverage or two.

Bzzt. Try again. Perhaps she forgot that I couldn't look any more like your typical honky that would be fun to mess with if you wrote it on my forehead.

So, we keep driving until we got a little bit out of town and could get some directions a nice family loading up their grocery go-getter. She handled the mostly-Spanish conversation while I kept an eye on the grandma, to make sure wasn't fixin to pull out a glock from her walker and buss a cap. Cause it's always the Grandmas that gots to be trippin.

Well, it's two or three years later and I've gotten over most of my irrational white-boy fear, and although there are still some places I'm kind of nervous going at night ( as Robert says, "you are a target and they *will* mess with you." ), I've come to realize that there's some great stuff hidden in the "forbidden" parts of LA.

And I'd totally go there, if I didn't keep ending up in goddamn Burbank.

Success. I am not sick. Physically.

Colds: How to f them suckas up big time.

Ok, kiddies... listen up. Chances are, you hate getting colds just as much as I do. I'm home trying to fight one off right now. Since not everyone has old-fashioned moms or grandparents to give out home-brewed advice on these types of things, here goes:

First, if there seems to be something seriously wrong with you, go to the doctor.

Now, here's a few simple steps to warding off a cold before you get it:

1) Take your vitamin C regularly. Grandpa's remedy.
2) Eat garlic on a regular basis. Another of Grandpa's remedies.
3) Brush your teeth twice a day and rinse thoroughly with Listerine. Alex Bortoluzzi would say that the alcohol in Listerine will damage your gums. In truth, mouthwashes with an alcohol content over 25% have been shown to leave gums more susceptible to carcinogens because the alcohol acts as a solvent. Cool Mint Listerine has 21% alcohol, so I guess I'm living on the edge.
4) Keep happy and active.
5) Get lots of sleep, shoot for 8-9 hours a night. I know this doesn't seem possible for most of us, but being overtired is the perfect excuse for an opportunistic virus to set up shop in your body.

If the cold finally starts kicking in, there are a few things you can do, starting AS SOON AS you feel the first twinges of sickness:

1) Keep taking vitamin C. I pop chewables like they're freakin roofies. Oh wait, I mean candy. Apparently, this isn't so good, because too too much vitamin C ( 1 to 2 grams daily ), can supposedly cause stomach inflammation. Never had it happen.
2) Drink tons of water and orange juice. I finish a gallon of orange juice as quickly as possible. The more liquids the better.
3) Chicken soup. Supposedly the steam will do you some good. And it's tasty.
4) Echinacea. Who the hell knows if this works or not. Sounds like a plan!
5) Saltines. mmmm saltines.
6) Sleep as much as possible.
7) Don't run around. Sit there and play video games, read, watch movies or, if worse comes to worst, watch tv.
8) Call someone who cares and will come pamper you.
9) BEST OF ALL - Boil up a big honkin mixing bowl full of water. Put some Vicks VapoRub into the water. Put your face over the water and a towel over the back of your head to trap the steam in the bowl while your face is down there. Inhale. Do this for as long as you can stand it. Be careful not to put your nose in the water... remember, it's boiling. If this doesn't let you breathe, nothing will.

If you have a stomach ache:

1) Take Pepto-bismol.
2) Drink Ginger-ale.
3) Drink real cinnamon stick tea with honey, lemon.
4) Keep a toilet handy.

If you have a sore throat:

1) Gargle with warm water and salt. Put a bunch of salt in some warm water and gargle with it. Don't do this around your significant other, because, although it does help, if you go too far with it, you may very well hurl.
2) Drink herbal tea with honey.
3) Don't talk and stuff.
4) Saltines, once again.
5) I like cough drops, but they do make your tongue feel nasty.
6) NyQuil fixes everything. Don't drive, operate heavy machinery, expect to be coherent or do anything else after taking NyQuil.

Happy, happy. Joy, joy.

So, I think I'm going through the happiest period in my whole entire life right now. I know that most of you expect bitter cynicism and world-hatred when you come online... if that's what you want, go look somewhere else, ya freakin jerk!

Anyway, things are pretty great right now. Most of my relatives are still alive and in good health. I'm in good health... so are all of my friends. I love my job and the people I work with are like a company full of brothers that I never had. Crazy, retarded brothers. My love life is definitely amazing, I couldn't ask for anything more.

A couple of years ago, when I was working at another company, one of the people who ran the place accused me of being "too happy". If you can believe it, this was made into an employment issue. Needless to say, it really floored me. I'm not fake, I'm not an airhead and I don't exactly live with my head in the clouds. I may be generally optimistic and friendly, but that's only because I've been through some pretty heavy times and I know the value of enjoying every moment that I can. Aka: I'm not naive... I'm positive because I've seen the alternative and I chose not to embrace it. Once you understand what's really out there and what unhappiness really is... and I don't mean this "badass-hardcore" marketing bullcrap that everyone's been fed for the last decade or what you feel when your girlfriend leaves you or this pseudo-goth cybercism... I mean true unhappiness... when confronted with it, you'll sure as hell know it and you'll either want nothing to do with it or you'll get depressed and become a goth chick. I chose the latter. Damn! I mean the former.

Anyways, yeah. The answer to true happiness for me was to look fear, pain and hatred in the eye and say, "See ya, not for me." 'Cause I had a choice... everyone has a choice. You have a choice. Probably several. If you're not happy, quit your bitching, find your choice and make it. Trust me, your life will be so much better for it.