You have never been in love,
Until you've seen the stars,
reflect in the resevoirs

And you have never been in love,
Until you've seen the dawn rise,
behind the home for the blind

We are the pretty petty thieves,
And you're standing on our street..

...where Hector was the first of the gang
with a gun in his hand
and the first to do time
the first of the gang to die. Oh my.
Hector was the first of the gang
with a gun in his hand
and the first to do time
the first of the gang to die. Oh my.

You have never been in love,
Until you've seen the sunlight thrown
over smashed human bones

We are the pretty petty thieves,
And you're standing on our street..

...where Hector was the first of the gang
with a gun in his hand
and the first to do time
the first of the gang to die. Such a silly boy.
Hector was the first of the gang
with a gun in his hand
and a bullet in his gullet
and the first lost lad to go under the sod.

And he stole from the rich and the poor
and the not-very-rich and the very poor
and he stole all hearts away...
he stole all hearts away
he stole all hearts away
he stole all hearts away

A debate between the proponents of Prop 19 and its biggest detractor: Funyuns

Pro: Prop 19 will bring hundreds of millions, if not billions of dollars of tax revenue to the State of California, relieve overcrowded prisons, and take business away from criminals.








Con: Mmmm I'm SALTY! After you eat me, guess what?!? Your fingers taste like Funyuns, too!








Pro: Don't be fooled by the anti-Prop 19 lobby, they are mainly funded by liquor distributors, bars, and the medical marijuana establishment who fear that responsibly legalized marijuana will cut into their profits.








Con: Duuude... If you put me around your hackey sack, it really DOES look like Saturn!!!








Pro: Fuck it, I give up.








Con: Aw, c'mon... you didn't even debate The Couch, yet.








Pro: :\

Now THIS is what I like to see!

100 Best Signs from the Rally to Restore Sanity

I'm wondering what to do tonight. This is how the most interesting nights begin.

You know what? I love figuring things out. Why? Is it the sense of accomplishment? Probably. And, if the sense of accomplishment is what I really love, then what does that mean? Does it mean that I somehow need to feel like I'm getting stuff done? Or does it mean that I need affirmation that I'm worthwhile? Thinking on it, I bet it's the former, because I get a similar feeling of happiness, even when I clean the bathroom or something equally mundane.

So, is that it? Have I hit a wall at "human instinct"?

Aahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha "The Quotidian"!!!! How hilarious.

Anyway, I just remembered I have this... and, since Facebook doesn't have good blogging functionality, I'm back :)

Eagles and OWLS. Rich Sees His Destiny in a Palm Tree Pattern.

[ Editor's note: I was in the middle of writing a much longer, more interesting blog about this, but it was so awesome that it actually crashed Firefox, so you will have to live with the abbreviated version. I'm sorry. ]

Behold, children... THE HAWAIIAN SHIRT!



The other day, I was lucky (?) enough to score tickets to the Eagles concert at the Staples Center here in Los Angeles. (Yes, those Eagles.) I've never been a huge fan of their music, but I don't mind it... you must remember that I was, as a child of the mid-late 70's, most certainly indoctrinated into Eagledom near to the point of being brainwashed. Even today, at times, when drifting on the edge of sleep, I'll wonder aloud why the Desperado just won't come to his senses. And, why do gay people like cowboys so much?

So, to the point: holy crap are middle-aged white people lame. I've kinda understood this for some time now, but I've never been drowned in a tsunami of it. It's a weird kind of lame, too. A lovable, huggable kind of lame. For instance, one of the older white lame-os (OWL) decided that he was going to go wild and dance in the aisle of the concert. So, dance he did. A writhing, almost seductive sort of dance, kind of like a really uncoordinated belly dancer. Of course, the security person in charge of our section of aisle (an older African-american woman) approached and asked him to sit down. So, what did Mr. Wild decide to do? Sit down? Fight the power? No. He decided to turn the seductive power of his goofy yet exotic gyrations on the encroaching authority figure. At first, she seemed angry and repeated her requests for him to resume his proper place in the sea of lameocity. Yet, he persisted. Just when I would have expected her frustration to escalate to scene-proportion levels, she... broke. Gave in to the irresistably arrhythmic quasi-mating dance of the spotted OWL. She rolled her eyes, swatted him on the shoulder, laughed couquettishly and said, "Oh, you!!! Get back to your seat!" Pwnd. So pwnd.

And, holy shit! I've never seen so many Hawaiian shirts, like, ever. What's the deal with that? I ask the question but, somehow... I know the answer. It's waiting deep in me, waiting like unimaginable horror lurks deep amongst the stars. It's waiting and it's coming. Like death and taxes, discovery of this horrible truth is imminent and unavoidable. I feel it coming. I feel it in my vague, twisted fascination with those horrid shirts. Don't all the inevitable pairings start that way? I mean, I saw Snoop and made fun of him like everyone else. "I can't believe it," I said. "How can someone so ridiculous be so famous???" This rejection quickly metamorphosed into a mocking adaptation of the object. Through use, the adaptation grew to a familiarity and the familiarity grew to a fondness. And, the kicker is, when I think about it, there was something in me, something deep inside me, all along that had a fondness for the object, for the Snoop... and for the... for the Hawaiian shirt.

I cannot deny my destiny.



( Me 15 or 20 years from now: )

Missing NY.

I've got to get back over there sometime. I don't think I've ever lived in a city for such a short amount of time and grown so attached. It's probably because, unlike lots of other cities in which I lived, NYC has a ... well, it's almost like it has a personality. I haven't quite figured out why that is yet, but I have an idea that it's got to do with the cultural and economic diversity of the city. Like other cities, it's got it's homogenous sections, but I think it's the most truly integrated and diverse cities I've visited. I also have a theory that the high level of integration is because of the extremely efficient mass transit system, but hey... who am I to theorize about mass transit and its effect on cultural integration in urban environments? Anyway, it's almost as though being a New Yorker is more important to New Yorkers than being any particular color or being rich or poor. And I miss it. New York, that is.

OMGWTFIMINAGOODMOODAGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just got the news that my cousin Chad and I are going to be transferred up to work on Spider-man the Movie 3. Holy freakin crap am I freakin happy holy crrrrrap. I love everybody and especially you, whoever you are reading this, my lovely love lovefest!

Hoo-ray! Huzzah! Hup hup and hullabaloo!

Oh and check out the videos they posted of outtakes from the development of my upcoming game, Ultimate Spider-man... pretty funny stuff... but maybe I just like it because I'm so fuckin happy right now I could just poop my pants:

Click here and goto 'Treyarch Outtakes'.

BodymassagemachineGO!

I'm back! (And verrry offended.)

Oh alright, I've emerged from my eternal cocoon of sadness. Ok, it was more like 1 day of sadness and ten or so of LAZINESS, but there you are.

Wanna see something creepy?

Check this out. There are several registered sex offenders living in my neighborhood and near people I love. Better to know, I guess...

Closed.

I don't feel like writing much of anything today. I'm tired and I'm sad and I feel like I'm once again sixteen years old.

I love you all very much and I hope that comes through in everything I do and say to you.

¡VIVA LA INDEPENDENCIA!

¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo a todos!

Although Cinco de Mayo is gaining purchase in the United States as a day of celebration, there are many misconceptions regarding the history behind the festivities. Ohhhhhh and I bet you can't guess who is going to clear that shit up for you!!!

Cinco de Mayo ("One-Fifth of May" in Mexican) is a celebration of Mexico's independence, achieved in 1847. It is a little known fact that tequila ( a form of mescal, derived from the agave plant ) is made only in the states of Jalisco and Veracruz, Mexico. The Mexican-American War of 1836 (Also known as the War of Northern aggression, not to be confused with the American Civil War, which is often called by the same sobriquet in the American South) of course resulted in the annexation of the states of Chihuahua, Durango, Zacatecas, Jalisco, Veracruz and Chinchumami by the fledgling United States of America. As is evidenced by the geostrategic positioning of these states, the US was clearly intent on securing the centers of world agave cultivation and the supply route by which the precious nectar it yields would be delivered to the United States.

Although debate still rages as to why the Mexicans were powerless to stop the annexation of their heartlands, most historians agree that their forces had been stretched too thin for too long. Still reeling from the Mexo-Salvadorean Conflict of 1834, the ragtag remnants of the Mexican army, though battle-hardened, were no match for the zeal and superior armaments of the US Army under Colonel John Higgenbottom. The Mexican government, under President Benito Juarez, stood strong in the face of the inevitable advance of the Americans and made a dramatic, last-minute strategic withdrawal to the state of San Luis Potosí, where they would regroup and bide their time until the opportunity to retake their homeland presented itself.

Their chance came early the next year when, in the first few weeks of February, the Americans mounted an ill-timed campaign to expand their already remarkable holdings in Mexico. Their objectives were the states of Oaxaca and Pincheputa, states which were (and continue to be) very wealthy due to their respective natural abundances of limes and salt mines. And this further act of aggression might have been succesful had it not coincided almost day and date with surprise Portugese invasion of Texas. Wagering that the troops garrisoned in Chihuahua (the northernmost state) would receive little or no assistance from the Texas-based US Army, Juarez moved decisively, routing the Americans from Chihuahua, cutting off the US's supply line and all hope of reinforcement, and encircling the remaining US forces. Their morale broken, the majority of American occupying forces fled to the coastal state of Besamiculo, sustaining heavy losses, but ultimately escaping to safety.

An interesting turn of events came to pass when the victorious Mexican forces in Chihuahua, under the command of Col Pedro Infante, launched a pre-emptive attack on the forces of the Emperor of Portugal, who were in the process of invading Texas. President Juarez, knowing that a Portugese-held Texas would be a continual threat to Mexico's northern borders, decided to strike while the proverbial iron was hot, flanking the Portugese Legionnaires, cutting off all avenues of retreat, and destroying them to a man. As a side note, Infante's forces, on their way to make battle with the Portugese, had become turned around and lost in the south Texas desert. As legend has it, the clouds parted near the pueblo of Sandia, exposing only Polaris, the north star, which was sufficient to guide the Mexicans to Corpus Christi, where they surprised and ultimately obliterated the Portugese in early May, 1847. This running battle lasted just under six days (thus, One-fifth of May), and secured Mexico's freedom from foreign influence for at lest 100 years.

A cogent argument can be made that the Mexican Army did, in fact, save the United States of America, even though they defeated the invading American forces. This may not appear to make much sense until one reflects that the Portugese and their emperor, Nãobatapunheta III, were in talks with and planned to support the nascent Confederate conspiracy to overthrow the US government. By eliminating the Portugese at the Battle of Corpus Christi, the Mexicans had removed a vital factor in the equation that led to the victory of the North over the South and the subsequent preservation of the Union.

It is, for this reason, that Americans and Mexicans alike celebrate this day, May 5th, which commemorates not only the end of the Battle of Corpus Christi, but the beginning of an era of self-determination for the peoples of the Western Hemisphere.

So, tonight, brothers and sisters, raise your cups together and give thanks to the selfless men and women, Mexican and American alike, that gave their lives to ensure our liberty.

God Bless America.

Dios Bendiga a Mexico.

Origins of the Beast.

So, I've been trying to find out wherein lies the genesis of the aesthetic which attracts me to women. For the most part, the problem lies in determining which came first, my young childhood crushes or a natural insinuation of some aesthetic into my pattern of likes and dislikes. Perhaps it was a link established between something that signaled good feelings or comfort and sets or a particular set of features. Whatever the case may be, it's undeniable that I am attracted to certain traits in women: darker hair, dark eyes, medium-full lips, high cheekbones, and big smiles.

Here are some of the famous girls who I crushed on while growing up:

Alyssa Milano ( from Who's the Boss ):



This was the big one. What a cutie! I think it was the first time I saw someone and was like WHOA, who is that???

Danica McKellar ( Winnie on The Wonder Years ):



Ha ha, gotta love the late 80's. She's the one that totally started my nerd fetish.

Paula Abdul ( Singer and all around hot chick )



I think I'm more into her now than I was then, because she seemed so much older than me at the time. Or, maybe that's what started my older woman fetish. Muhahahahaha. So, all I need is to find an older nerd and I'll be all set!!!

Of course, with all this talk of exterior beauty, it must be mentioned that even the most beautiful woman in the world seems extremely ugly to me unless she's a beautiful, nice and fun person on the inside. And, I'll tell you what, there are more than a few women out there who couldn't be considered traditionally beautiful who I know to be among the hottest, most beautiful people I know. It's the mind that matters... And how you shake that bootay.

Moooaaaaaaannnn.

Quick update... continuing on with my zombie infatuation, here are a couple of good links you should check out if you're at all interested:

Zombie survival test. ( Make sure to post your score in the comments! )

Santa Rosa Institute

Those bastards that don't signal.
Levelling up.
Myspace can be yourspace.

Californians look the same as people from back East, more or less. This fact led to some amount of confusion when I moved here because of the assumption that, if they looked the same, they must kind of be the same. I have, in the five years that I've been here, found this supposition to be, for the most part, false. Californians, although they look the same and speak pretty much the same language, are of a different culture than those of us from the East Coast.

I'm not sure if this has anything to do with any of that, but I used to be very frustrated by the fact that a surprisingly high number of Californians refuse to signal when turning or changing lanes. I just found out the other day that a large number of Californians refuse to signal when changing lanes because an equally large number of Californians will immediately accelerate to prevent someone ahead of them from transitioning into their lane.

This is clearly a case of cretinous behavior begetting cretinous behavior.

I do, however, feel that two things have occurred on a personal level for me:

- I no longer reserve my darkest fantasies for the non-signallers. Those are now the province of the accelerbators, as they shall henceforth be called.

- I feel as though I have reached a deeper understanding of this strange and terrible culture which surrounds me. Mayhap I have gained a level. This would make me:

Richard the Bisso
NG Human Male, North Countryman (11), Californian (2)

By teh whey, I've recently signed up with http://www.myspace.com . It's one of those community sites online that I've never liked too much, but this one is actually pretty fun and good. I've been going to it for a couple months now on the regular, so it's pretty safe to say I'm hooked. There are a lot of people I (and probably you, dear reader) know on there, so it's pretty cool to see how everyone portrays themselves when given the tools and space to do so. You should check it out... search for me by my email caballero776[at]yahoo[dot]com ...

Vaya con dios.

Book fare.

When I was a wee lass, one of the best times of the year was when the Scholastic Book Fair would come to my school. I'm not sure why I've always loved books so much, but I used to go absolutely bat-shit when the Book Fair would roll into town. Thinking back on it, it wasn't anywhere near as good as going to the Friar Tuck Book store in the mall, but I guess it was just the novelty of having the books come to my school... for a limited time only! And we got to get out of class to go to the Book Fair! It was like... a field-trip to the bookstore! Nerdiness and Escapist Tendencies unite to form Wooooooooo!

Well, anyways, what I'm writing about today is that my bat-shittiness has in no way, shape or form over the past twenty plus years. I love going to the bookstore today more than going to just about any store in existence, except that one on Sunset that sells all the Gentlemen's Magazines on the cheap. But wait! That's a bookstore, too! See? Could you imagine if they had a book fair that came to my work? That would be like Christmas and Chanukah all at the same time!

The books I've been reading lately are pretty wicked and they are as follows:

The Mauritius Command and Desolation Island: Fourth and Fifth chapters in the continuing Aubrey-Maturin Series, penned by the great Patrick O'Brian. He never ceases to amaze me with the depth of his wit and the breadth of his knowledge. Subtleties abound in these novels and I relish every one like a juicy peach on a hot summer day.

100 Bullets: I'm back on board the train with a vengeance here. I read The Counterfifth Detective no less than FIVE times while I was in Mexico because it was that freakin good. As soon as I could, I got my mitts on Six Feet Under the Gun and Samurai. Can you see a pattern here? If you're thinking about reading this series, start with the first book, First Shot, Last Call. It may not seem it in the beginning ,but it's cumulative, kinda like a chemistry exam. But not sucky.

The Walking Dead: I wouldn't say that this book was really bad, it's just that it wasn't really good. There's a tremendous amount of promise in a book that chronicles life in a Walking Dead World, but somehow the art and writing in this book combine to not deliver. The Walking Dead makes a point of trying to focus on the interpersonal relationships of the surviving humans, but it turns out to be a bit contrived and, hm, trite. I write this with the utmost regret, because I know the author is really trying, but maybe they're trying too hard. Create your characters and let them interact naturally. Having said that, I'm not put off enough to pass on the second book, until then, I'll write off any lack to inexperience.

Continuing my train-wreckish fascination with the Living Dead:

The Zombie Survival Guide: Boy, oh boy. Go out and buy this book. You may think you know what you'd do if the zombies came for you, but I can most assuredly assert that you do not. I can't stress enough, this book is a must-read. If you don't, if you happen to, say... personally find out why it's not a good idea to bring a machine gun to a zombie fight, DON'T COME MOANING TO ME.

Uzumaki: Japanese horror manga. Spirals are the bad guys. Yes, spirals, as in: those curly lines. First-rate stuff here. I'm not joking.

There's more, but I'm supposed to be sleeping off my cold. Night!

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Well, not a whole lot has changed since I last posted, but a lot has happened. I love bullet points, so that's how I'm going to lay it out for you:

- Shipped Spider-man 2 for PS2, XBOX and Gamecube. I'm happy to report that it was reviewed very well overall and is selling like crack hotcakes.

- Visited home. While there, I saw one of my best friends from back in high school, Jessica Spissinger, get married. She looked awesome and I got to catch up with a lot of old friends. I also came to realize that I really need to start looking into planning my high school reunion. Later. It was great seeing the whole family and I was happy that I got to be there for Father's Day and my Grandma's birthday. Lots of hanging out with my sister, who is turning into a really cool chick. Mostly because she is a lot like me. Uh, except for the chick part, that is.

- Visited Mexico. Went to a city called Aguascalientes, which is directly in the center of the country. I got to meet all of my girlfriend's extended family, which was very cool. I also got food poisoning, which was very suck. We also traveled to my girlfriend's grandfather's ranch. Upon finally meeting the tough old guy, he looked at me and said something to the effect of "Oh, I already know this guy. He came around selling Sabritas ( Mexican potato chips ) about a month ago." Which was patently not true, but I wasn't going to argue with the old fella, he's the most feared lawman south of the Rio Grande. We also got to visit Guanajuato, where they have mummies, mines, cool old haciendas and student-led musical groups that guide large groups of tourists through the streets of the city, singing and telling us about the history of that beautiful city. And... last, but not least, I got to ride a real horse for the very first time. I'm so freakin proud of myself.

- Got assigned to my next project. It's a SUPER-SECRET Spidey project that's not related to the movie. That's all you're going to get out of me for now. So don't even try. ( Unless you have lots of money. ) ( Or maybe even a little. ) ( I accept PayPal. ) Ok, ok. What I can say is that it's gorgeous. You'll have to wait for more info.

All about EVE.

So, lately, I've been playing this massively multiplayer online game called EVE Online. It's not your normal MMO, because there's not a whole hell of a lot of running around, bowing and being social about it. In fact, you don't have a little avatar, you just have a ship and a big old galaxy to conquer with your ship.

A lot of people probably won't dig EVE because, as I already stated, it's not what we'll call a "chat-room social" game. There is, indeed, a lot of socializing going on, but it's pretty much all aimed toward business. You see, the heart of EVE is that's it's an economy simulator. Economy of cash, economy of goods, economy of space and, ultimately, economy of power. You establish business relationships with other players in order to function more efficiently within those economies.

In order to be truly effective in EVE, individuals must join into corporations. Corporations are not just loose associations, they have hierarchies, defined roles for corporation officers, voting procedures, internal security procedures and clearances, the ability to make legal 'war' on other corporations ( which I'll discuss sometime in the near future ), and even the ability to be publicly traded ( although the mechanisms for the stock market aren't yet online ). With a corporation, it is much easier to coordinate mining, refining, production and trade operations. It's also easier to mount large scale operations, like capturing and administrating space stations.

The player-formed corporations of EVE have also created another level of resolution above the corporation, called the Alliance. An alliance is simply a semi-formal collection of corporations that are working toward a common goal, such as to control a particular portion of space, or to prevent another alliance from achieving some end. For example, there is currently a player-run pirate alliance that is holding sway over large parts of the galaxy and have recently expanded their operations at an alarming rate. Their members commonly waylay and/or destroy innocent civilians who wander into their territories, or who happen to inhabit systems they have targeted for their expansionist campaigns. Thus, almost naturally, another alliance has sprung up to counter the pirate Alliance threat. As of this writing, the two large alliances are battling each other and the outcome of that battle will determine the climate in which the rest of us do business.

I used to play a game called Space Trader for my Commodore 64, back in the mid nineteen-eighties... it was a game about flying around in space and trading different goods. You could buy different ships and outfit them with different weapons, so you could go into other parts of space and trade for more lucrative items. EVE is basically a very advanced, multiplayer version of that game.

There are infinite ways in which EVE could be made more complex and compelling. The good thing is that, since EVE is an online game, the developers are able to constantly upgrading and adjusting the world for the better. For example, the last major patch ( upgrade ) added a system that allowed players to take control of certain space stations. Some of these stations are very valuable, due to their positions along certain trade routes or in certain mineral-rich parts of space. That upgrade alone added an amount of complexity to the game that is very difficult to fathom.

I know that some academics have already started to examine the social and economic dynamics within certain games. Hopefully, someone will take the time to study EVE. An analysis of its complex and evolving systems would make for a very interesting read. For me, anyway :D

Hello again.

Back from my little Christmas break. Well, we're right in the middle of megacrunch and I'm feeling just fine. I've got an entire level to make that's due by the 26th. I've got it about a third of the way done and would probably be further, except that the world seems to be falling down around us as we speak. On top of that, I don't currently have the assets I need. But everything is seeming to work out ok, because you can't implement something you don't have and, even if you had it, you couldn't implement it... because the game doesn't work. Everything would be great if that bad ole deadline didn't keep advancing toward my position. So, I'm just polishing, polishing, polishing away until the logjam come loose.

I guess one of the most important lessons of being a game designer can be observed here: when something that you're working on goes very, very wrong, your first inclination will be to despair, complain and generally get caught up in the horse latitudes of game design. Do not underestimate the attractiveness of this option. As I may or may not have said before, the most frustrating thing about game design is when the game you're trying to design stops working through no fault of your own.

You must get over this. I'd say the best way to do this is:

1) Realize when it's happening to you.
2) Suck it up.
3) Personally make sure the right people are on the job fixing your problem.
4) Make a concerted effort to find other things to do while it's being fixed. If this takes going to your lead and explaining the situation, that's what it takes.

You being totally idle is totally useless and helps neither the game nor your morale.

All this advice probably sounds like a no-brainer, but it's harder to put into practice than you may think.

Of course, you could just despair and write in your blog, like I do. :D

Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick. Again.

This time, the damn thing won't go away. Anyone got any remedies for a cough that keeps you up all night and won't go away? Luckily, it's happening over Christmas vacation, which is usually a pretty lax time of year as far as work hours go. Well, I'm on the late shift till this freakin cough lets me get to sleep at a reasonable unreasonable hour.

Christmas was great. I got some new shoes, lots of books, some towels, Deus Ex: Invisible War and a samba cd. I'm in the middle of reading Wolves of the Calla, being the fifth part of Stephen King's Dark Tower/Gunslinger series. It's thoroughly fun and I'm having a great time reading it. I also, just recently, started reading Neil Gaiman's Sandman series. It's pretty good so far, but it's no Invisibles. Seems like lots of guest appearances and some pretty hokey stuff, at least as I ken from the first three or four issues. I bet it was pretty rad back in the late eighties, though. It comes highly recommended, so I'm going to give it ten or twelve more issues before I give it up. Come to think of it, The Invisibles didn't really kick in for me until the second collection... I'll keep you all posted.

All these goddamn books are keeping me away from my games! I just installed Call of Duty and haven't gotten a chance to play much Gothic or Gladius over the break. Ah well, I've all the time of the rest of my life, I do. So long as I don't die from this accursed cough.